The Wedding Gift, a film directed by Jung Hwa Lee, was screened on September 18, 2005 during the ICU Asian Film Showcase. Lee is a graduate of Ewha Women's University, where she studied physics and educational engineering. After graduating, she has been working as a script writer for TV documentaries and children programs. She is married and lives in Japan.
One of the gifts which Lee received from a Japanese friend for her wedding was a set of two matching teacups for married couples. The cups were of different size, and when she told her husband that she wanted to use the bigger cup, he responded by saying that the larger cup was meant to be the man's. The film's starting point is her query regarding the idea that the man's cup should be bigger.
The film contains a powerful message from Lee within the short space of sixty minutes. The film exposes the fact that, despite the increasing interest in gender problems in Japanese society today, the people's gender awareness seem to have remained unchanged. It centers around interviews - with a couple who received matching tea cups for their wedding, several Japanese women, and a woman who married a Japanese and lives in Japan. The interviews reveal aspects of Japanese people's, especially women's, deeply ingrained ideas on gender roles, which are not so evident in everyday life. One such belief is that the difference between the sexes a part of tradition. In this way, women, even today, accept the idea of sexual determinism. In this report I would like to discuss these two problems which the film particularly brought to my attention.
When did the tradition of male and female tea cups set start? I would like to ask you, as my readers, to take a guess. The director asks this question to a store owner in Asakusa who sells these cups as well as to married couples who actually use these cups. Most people replied that the tradition probably dates back to the Edo period or even earlier. However, it turns out that it was only established as a tradition in the 1970s.
As shown in the film, this gap between people's consciousness and reality regarding the origin of the teacups reflects how we tend to explain away phenomena which doesn't fit into our logic under the label of tradition.
In any case, traditions change along with society. For example, women are currently not allowed on the sumo wrestling ring. In 1989, the Sumo Wrestling Association did not allow the Chief Cabinet Secretary at the time, Mayumi Moriyama, to bestow the Prime Minister's Cup because she was a woman. By virtue of being a tradition, the ban on women from the wrestling ring is regarded as part of culture and therefore treated with respect. Although this tradition dates back to the day when women were regarded as impure, such folklore is brought to life in modern times with the issue of a female chief secretary stepping onto the wrestling ring.
In fact, women were not allowed even to watch sumo tournaments before 1972. No-one objects to women watching sumo nowadays. This means that one day the ban on women stepping onto the wrestling ring might be abolished as well. It is therefore possible for culture and tradition to be changed. The fact that there is still resistance to change is due to the deeply ingrained nature of cultural and traditional beliefs.
"The difference in size of the male and female teacups reflects the traditional Japanese aesthetic ideal of the woman following one step behind the man in everything." "It's easy to put up with something like the difference in cup size; she lets the man have the bigger cup, flatters him, makes him work and enjoys a nice and peaceful life at home."
These opinions are all taken from responses to the question in the film concerning why there is a difference in size between the male and female cups. They reflect the honesty of Japanese women today. However, it might not be an accurate reflection of their true thinking, as the women in the film were only giving conjectural responses when asked about the size of the cups. Moreover, their views may not be shared by many women. What this does show, however, is that even today, there are women who take the difference in gender roles for granted and as a legitimate principle of Japanese aesthetics. Subconsciously, Japanese women still accept their inferior social position in the role of staying at home.
What I sense about my own female friends is that instead of thinking of themselves as active participants in building society, they are trying to adjust their self-image to the ideas and expectations of society. Although most of them think that men and women should be treated equally, they still believe, with a sense of resignation, that although men and women are regarded as equal, a woman should stay at home and take care of their man.
All the above-said suggests that women are trapped in their own fixed ideas about gender roles. Although the above-mentioned idea of womanly behavior being the woman following one step behind the man is traditional, it is still common to this day. A very popular word in women's magazines today is the word moteru, "to be popular with men"; women's magazines give plenty of advice on how to dress and how to behave in order to be liked by the opposite sex. One such popular advice is to wear a skirt, put on pink lipstick and curl one's hair in order to succeed at a matchmaking party; also, when eating together on a date it is considered good form to be active in distributing the food and showing housewifely instincts.
Of course, not all women follow the advice of women's magazines. However, the profusion of such magazines means that they have a large reading public. In addition, they make women think that if they lack the standard requirements of womanliness they won't be popular with men. Those magazines create the image of a woman who is kawaii (sweet and lovely) and conforms to the taste of men. However, apart from sweetness and good looks, this image lacks any other requirements for being liked by the opposite sex.
I myself have never wondered why the male and female tea cups are different in size. In fact, my initial response to the film was surprise at why the director could make such a passionate film about a trivial issue like tea cups. However, after having seen the film in its entirety, I realized that it is such everyday phenomena like tea cups which can reveal a great deal about social values and beliefs; the tea cup issue shows us how the difference between the sexes in Japan is still taken for granted although people may not be fully aware of it.
Lee exposes an aspect of the Japanese consciousness and attitude to gender issues by taking up an everyday subject like tea cups, as opposed to a more easily recognizable example of sexual discrimination. Her perspective differs from that of a Japanese who is blinded by their own culture. After the film she talked to me about how she re-assessed herself with reference to her own experience in the period of autocracy in South Korea. She said that in the beginning, the issue of the tea cup seemed very small and insignificant to her as well but the making of the film made her think about larger issues. She also said that losing 10 kilograms during her work on the film symbolically reflects how difficult it was to re-invent herself. Likewise, it will certainly take great time and effort for women in general to start living not simply in terms of their gender role but as individuals with their own unique path in life.
ICU student : Yoko Toyama